KEEPING THE LID ON IN TALLAHASSEE
Keeping my mind on my book after a couple of hours got pretty difficult. Mr. Rollo May, a highly esteemed existential psychologist at the time was, I hoped, going to help me figure out me and my ruination, my calamity through the adroit wisdom of his new book, Love and Will. I exhaled deeply, dropped the book and headed for the door. It was interesting but so damn dry and clinical. I needed a break.
A little drive, that would help me refresh my mind and help me open up to this very modern wisdom. Actually, I much preferred old and ancient wisdom that got me out of my emotionally war-torn consciousness. I clicked on the radio; that was always a great reset button for me.
Oooh hell, the first couple of bars of music and lyrics to the song, Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, melted over my touchy emotions like thick warm molasses; setting off the sweetest and most bitter memories in me at the same time, “They asked me how I knew my true love was true. I, of course, replied something here inside cannot be denied.” My hand sprang to the kill switch; “idiot” I yelled at myself. I couldn’t bear that song. “It wasn’t all her,” I blurted out again. I bit down on the pain and found some Rock n Roll quickly joining in on, Born to Be Wild with power and conviction, “Get your motor runnin’. Head out on the highway”.
I howled Rock n Roll songs all the way to Monroe street where the Parkway dead ends at the Capital building. I turned left in front of the capital and thought I’d ride by the football stadium. My brain lunged for my throat and slapped me square across the face, rattling my emotional teeth and screamed at me, do you want another emotional dagger slammed into your chest idiot?
I knew it was time to stop for a beer and mellow out a little. I wheeled around and headed back up in front of the capital and decided to ride by my new Jobsite again. It would remind me again of how well things were going for me. So, I went up to Tennessee St and headed out past the university to Ocala Rd. I stopped, got a beer, and cruised past where I would finally go to work tomorrow.