NOT IN A GOOD PLACE
All God’s creatures love and need healthy self-expression. Everyone from snakes to humans loves to play, expressing their joy of just being. The males will strut and the females will preen and prance. Actually, it’s God’s need and love for self-expression that’s going on here. God is infinite and can only express in a finite way through his finite creations such as you, me, snakes, all of nature, and the universe; what a glorious picture and a beautiful understanding of reality.
So, a dancer’s got to dance and a writer’s got to write, but it gets pretty hairy for a writer with a self-imposed mandate to be real and honest rather than just to hit the high points of his story to achieve a little light entertainment. That’s the corner I’m in with my initial intent to offer a little autobiography to just add a personal touch to the website. I know the idea is sound; I just wasn’t prepared for the unvarnished truth that I’ve been glossing over in my mind for many, many years. The raw, quivering, nasty truth has been very hard for me to take.
I’ve been stymied for the last couple of days trying to find a way to go on with the story, hopefully, an entertaining way to go on. However, so far I feel I may be doing much more harm to myself and my writing than good; although God has used all the self-destruction and tragedy in my life, (there’s been an awful lot) to turn my life completely around.
At this moment, I don’t know what I will do. (Maybe a running autobiography isn’t a good idea after all.) I hate having to admit this, but I have no choice; I worked myself into this hole, now I have to climb out. I call it a hole, but for me, it’s the most wonderful thing of my life; having a front row seat to watch God redeem my soul. . . . . I would really appreciate any feedback you have to offer as I look for an answer to my quandary.
Jack