THE BETTER HALF
As soon as they were settled at the table in the restaurant and had placed their order, Bill’s wife Dolly pulled a lottery ticket out of her purse and placed it in front of him, “Happy Birthday, Bill,” she said.
Bill looked at his wife and then groused at her, “You know I hate those damn things.”
“Not this one, Bill, you won. You have been complaining for seven years about not being able to take a vacation, among many other things, so, I got you this. I was getting one for myself and I thought why not get Bill one for his birthday.”
Bill’s mouth hung open for a solid minute, staring at his wife, “How much.” he finally managed to say?
“Two million,” she said.
Bill’s mouth snapped shut after demanding, ” And, how much did you win?”
“Mine was worth nothing, I only hit two numbers,”
After a loaded pause, Bill said, ” Who are you!”, as he bored into her with his eyes?
She heard that wide streak of paranoia in Bill and gave him that mysterious, you never know, look and said, “I’m your better half.”
Bill rared back in his chair while pretending to tare his ticket in half and said, ” Oh yeah, well half of it is yours.”
Dolly gasped and reached out to stop him from destroying the ticket. Bill let out the biggest laugh he’d let out in twenty years, saying, ” Mama was right, you were the girl I was supposed to marry.